Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
