Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
