Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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