it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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