It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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