Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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