Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Couch. On fire.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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