I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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