saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't think brook has ever known best
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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