im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize