whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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