Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
