Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
