So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
