i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
