yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
