i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
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