Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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