this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
