She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
