If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
