I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
