so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
