My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
