I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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