dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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