If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Randomize
