My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
