I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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