It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
