I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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