So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
