I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
