I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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