his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My penis needs a shock collar
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
