Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she peed on how many people?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
