Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize