I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
