Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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