Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
