who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
