She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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