You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
