Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My hand turned me down
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
