Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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