i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
