People in love make me want to vomit
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
