So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
