Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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