I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
