Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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