so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
and she was petting her beer can
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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