look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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