I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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