Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
