I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
