Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize