Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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