Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
