right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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