Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
