All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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