i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
