My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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