i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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