You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
