As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
