Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
